My Dad

Things my Father taught me:

*Sing. A lot.
My Dad loved to sing in the car and liked it when we cussed when we were little.
*Taught me to say "I am a GDI!" at the age of 4. When asked what that was, I would yell "A God-damned Independent!"
*He told me I was going to be the President..that or be the one child of his who would shoot him with his own shotgun for not giving me the keys to the car.
*A twisted sense of humor. When asked for his name at a restaurant, he would always reply "Max Sexdrive". He did this in the 1960's and 70's-there was no stopping him.
He was a classic.

Lloyd Oscar Yorker, 85, of Denver, passed away December 18th, 2008. Mr Yorker was born in Denver in 1923, the son of Alice Clark and Oscar Bowen Yorker. He attended East High School and upon graduation, was inducted into the 10th Mountain Division, 87th, L Company. He was sent to Kiska, and Northern Italy. Following WWII, He earned a Bachelors degree from Denver University and attended DU law school. He was a member of the DU ski team and also of the legendary Zipfelberger racing team.
During the Korean War, he was with JAG (Judge Advocate General) in Tokyo. He returned to Denver, married and started a family.
In 1961, he began working for NASA in the security and photographic security departments. He was in Houston at NASA during the Mercury and Gemini projects.He was incredibly happy to return to Colorado in 1967 and began working for the FAA in the Anti Air-Piracy division. Upon retirement, he lived in Breckenridge for a number of years and then moved to Aspen. He lived in Aspen for 9 years, and started and ran Aspen Trout Guide Service. He eventually sold the business and moved back to Denver but continued his fishing and guiding until he was 80. He was also an accomplished Nordic ski racer, competing in the Senior Olympics and winning several gold medals in the Biathlon.
Lloyd will be remembered for his sense of humor, his ability to see fish that were invisible to the mere mortal, and his love of the mountains, rivers, and streams of Colorado.

A Girl Could Do A Lot Worse

Many, many moons ago, I was getting ready to take off for Asia-one way ticket to Bangkok bought and paid for. It was a fun Summer hanging with old friends post college and every one's lives were heading into their eventual directions. We drank lots of beer, listened to music, maybe smoked something, and cracked each other up. The morning after one mass camp out, I awoke with a poem in my sock, which was one of the sweetest things I have ever received. Nothing happened that would have prompted such a gesture and I never really saw him much again but I have always remembered it.
The poet recently passed on and the world is minus a true original. And a sweet person.
Rest in Peace.

http://www.denverpost.com/obituaries/ci_10750959

Gerund

YO! Sarah Palin! Look it up......learn it.........use it.

You have lowered the bar so dramatically that I can barely recognise the language that you are speaking. I am completely insulted by your inclusion in the Presidential race. But since the Old man chose you, the least you could do is learn to speak our language.

ALIVE

In 1974, a book was published called "Alive" about the Uruguayan rugby team that survived a plane crash in the Andes mountains. They were there for over 2 months before 2 of them finally walked out of the mountains. I read the book over 15 times and became fascinated, (ie: obsessed, refer to my post of Jan 11). I was 11 years old and admit that I was initially drawn to the fact that they were reduced to cannibalism in order to survive. But after the first read, I realized that that truly was incidental to the story. While it allowed them to survive, they were all Catholics and were tormented by the decision they were forced to make. I became intrigued by the qualities in the survivors which led them to be either quite passive in their survival or to take action.

There is a film fest in my town this week and I went down to the Opera house to check out the line up and buy some tickets and saw that one film was "Stranded: I've come from a plane that crashed in the mountains". Yes, 34 years after the plane crash, the Survivors all took part in this documentary. I slammed down my 10 bucks and started counting the days. Today was the day. It was very well done and the film maker took care to have the survivors speak only as they experienced it all and not bring in hindsight. It was incredibly moving and the 2 that ended up walking for 8 days across the Andes are still remarkable characters. One man, Canessa, has a poetic way of speaking that will move you to tears. They went back to the glacier where the plane was, and brought their children to explain what it was like. It kicked my ass.

The good news is that it can be viewed on You Tube in about 11 parts: For part 1, click and then it will continue loading up the next parts....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQ7eo5MaubI

I am not sure why I am so moved by their story but I certainly am. Being a survivor is not an easy thing. These men live with the knowledge of what they had to do in order to live and it is not as if once you survive, the rest of life is rosy-you are a changed person. And while you may have survived, others were not so lucky.

My heart goes out to Elena, one of my fellow breast cancer Survivors who was diagnosed with a recurrence of bone metastases 2 days ago.

Whew

Since the last post, I have moved back to my former town. My place is teeny but that is okay. I have too much stuff. I went through my storage space and took 2 TRUCKLOADS to the ARC, which is a local thrift store. I volunteered at some DNC functions and tooled around feeling the love in Denver before I moved.
I am loving the last Farmer's Markets and the organic peaches. I just froze a half a box. I can now ride my bike around instead of driving which I LOOOOOVE. There was a local bike and I ran into my oncologist who moved from Denver to a town about an hour and a half away. I informed him of my move and being uninsurable. He introduced me to a woman who runs his cancer center and she said "No problem, we can see you." And gave me her card. I cannot express what a relief that is to me.

And next week, I drive to Denver to attend a function at the Governor's mansion. We are trying to expand the eligibility for Medicaid for women with breast cancer. I am going to introduce the state representative who sponsored our last Bill. More on her later, my personal jury is still out on that one.

Life is swinging along.

Stretching the grey matter...

Last week I was lucky enough to attend the National Breast Cancer Coalition's Project LEAD. It is a very intensive learning experience, to say the least. It started on a Tuesday and ended Sunday at Noon. We had one evening off-the rest we worked until 9ish and it was INCREDIBLE. Normally this would wear me down but I was completely invigorated and proud of having learned so much.
Why is Project LEAD® important for Breast Cancer Activists?
Breast cancer advocates should play an integral role in all breast cancer decision making because they bring a unique and critical perspective to the research, scientific and policy review processes. Therefore, to be successful and effective in these areas, advocates have a responsibility to be prepared with the basic knowledge and background to critically appraise research proposals and policy initiatives. Others in the advocacy community look to Project LEAD® graduates to disseminate timely and accurate information, critically scientific research and evaluate research proposals.

We learned
Basic science, such as the biology of cancer, basic genetics, the roles of DNA, RNA and proteins and development of cancer at the molecular level;
Basic epidemiology such as biostatistics, descriptive studies, analytic studies, clinical trials, causality, meta-analysis and screening; and
Leadership and advocacy development skills and how to participate in the scientific community as a breast cancer advocate.

Today we had a meeting in Denver to collaborate with 3 other organizations to expand the Breast and Cervical Treatment Program. I am adamant that women under 40 who are displaying symptoms be included.

We shall see.

On a lighter note, I am definitely moving back to Aspen and am happy about it. I was on the fence as my Father has dementia and I hate to leave the burden on my remaining Denver family but I was encouraged to go. Plus there was a blurb in the Aspen Times Weekly saying I was moving back for the FOURTH time. I would be embarrassed NOT to. I am looking forward to my 877th move of my life. Yeehaw.

Compassion

This week in my town, there is a celebration of Tibetan Culture and the Dalai Lama is here. My friend, Hilary, was putting together a gathering/party/fundraiser as her job for this incredible new undertaking called Project Compassion.
www.compassionstanford.org
Check it out. I was lucky enough to go to the gig and get to hear their pitch.
Tenzin Tethong, He is a former Representative of H.H. the Dalai Lama in New York and Washington, D.C., and former Chairman of the Kashag, the Tibetan Cabinet. Someone was to pick him up at the airport, but there was confusion and he was on a different flight so he sat around the mini airport for awhile. He finally got hungry and went to get a pizza. He was sitting next to a woman and gave her a slice. They began chatting, and realized that they had several things in common and she had lived in India and had volunteered with Tibetan refugees. She is a true character in this town and somewhat of a loose cannon. She ends up giving Tenzin a ride in her Porsche to her house where my friend Hilary gets a call from Tenzin. Any other high profile dignitary/politician/celebrity would have lost their marbles and abused underlings but he laughed about it.
Geshe Thupten Jinpa Ph.D.
Thupten Jinpa has been a principal English translator to the Dalai Lama since 1985. He was there.
William C. Mobley, M.D., Ph.D. | Co-Director of Project Compassion| Professor of Neurology and Neurological Sciences| Former Director of the Neuroscience Institute| Stanford University. Yeah, he was there.
All the people involved in the Project were in attendance . The presentation was very inspiring and there was a great feeling in the room. I am a born cynic and I drank the Kool-aid.
We all went out to dinner after, 14 of us and had a great time. It was great to hear these guys telling Cheney jokes and discussing American politics.

To practice compassion and meditate with intent regarding compassion. To teach children compassion. They think it could change the world. And this is from the neuroscientists. You heard it here first, kids.

I gave Tenzin a ride back to his house where he was being hosted and wished him well and hoped that he would return sometime. He said He was very excited that he came here and was kidnapped.

Alvin has moved in

AS I was eating my oatmeal this morning, I caught a quick blur in the corner of my eye. Shit. A mouse and it looked quite big and hairy in the tail region. I do not dig the vermin world at all. So I mildly freaked out, went upstairs to my room and got on the computer for some work. Not 20 minutes later, I see the little thing racing in. I t is a chipmunk and when it is inside is just like a mouse or rat to me. Ewwwww. I said eek-a-mouse and ran downstairs to get Nell the Wonder Dog. Nell reluctantly came upstairs and did NOTHING. Apparently Labs don't deal with chipmunks. But I am truly more wigged about a chipmunk in the house than a bear right outside. I now have both doors wide open giving him a big hint to LEAVE and am hoping the bear does not misconstrue the open door as an invitation to come in and have a little revenge on Goldilocks.

Tag, I'm it.

Before I launch into my Tag answers...in college I decided to take kayaking. It was in an indoor weird pool and it ended up being me and about 20 huge ROTC guys. The ROTC thing was weird anyway because this was in Boulder, Colorado not exactly a bastion of pro-militarism, anywhoo. So in the class we leaned how to maneuver and roll by playing tag which consisted of touching the front of your kayak to another kayak. I would wipe out, and laugh hysterically and I was pretty much "IT" for the entire semester. I would be strolling across campus and out of nowhere would come the random shout....."it!!" Those ROTC guys found me out of 20,000 people and they were relentless. I am so glad I am not in the military.

Cenci tagged me so here goes:

The rules:Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

What was I doing ten years ago?

I was quasi miserable over some guy, just got back from Peru, was working at the newspaper in Aspen and saving up for a big trip to India. Constantly trying to figure out if I should move.

What are five (non-work) things on my to-do list for today?

1 Clean up broken outdoor lamp that the bear broke
2 Walk/Feed Nell the Wonder Dog
3 Check on 2 friends who are going through chemo
4 Swim laps
5 Go to cocktail party to see old co-workers

Five snacks I enjoy:

1 Avocado- in almost any form but love guacamole
2 Cheese and crackers and olives and pickles
3 carrots and cucumbers
4 strawberries and blueberries
5 a perfect peach in August

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

Take care of the family and certain friends
Tackle some biggies: education, health care, displaced refugees.
Total world domination
Be a true citizen of the world
Shoes, shoes, shoes

Places I've lived: most recent first

Denver, CO
Sausalito, CA
London UK
Aspen CO
Los Angeles CA
Tokyo Japan
Sydney Australia


Jobs I've had:

Internet marketing manager
Advertising Sales
Upholsterer
Commercial Production Coordinator
Production Assistant on BAD B movies
Art Department Assistant-music videos
Art Gallery Manager
English teacher

Tag, now you're it!

I will need some time to figure this out......

lack luster blogging until......

It has been awhile but I keep waiting for something interesting to happen. I have been in the mountains for a month and am trying/ planning on moving back here. I have been looking for a good job, housing, etc...
This morning, a friend came over for a cup of tea and she went out to her car for something and there was a bear in her car. She had left the window down about 15 inches and it got in there and ate her banana, and rooted around for other treats. Nell the Wonder Dog was flipping out and I opened the house windows and did my best cowboy whistle and the bear crawled back out the window.

Nature, what can you do?

Note to Self: ALWAYS go to DC for Advocacy and Lobby Day!!

I have finally decompressed from my trip to Washington DC and I am beyond glad that I went and must always remind myself that this is the big show and why I am involved.

I fllew in on Wednesday the 23rd in order to visit my friend and her husband in Arlington. I usually grab a bike and boogie around for a couple days seeing memorials and museums but I just didn't have the juice for it this year. But I am very happy to say I got to go to IKEA and Trader Joes-both of which I miss from my California days and we have neither in Colorado. I also hit Shoefly, very cute shoes and inexpensive to boot. I loves me some shoes. I needed to get my shallow consumer buzz in before I hit the earnest business of breast cancer advocacy.

My freinds had a little boy in October so it was great to meet the little Jack and impress upon him the fun of making motorboat sounds. He is dreamy.

Our hotel was the Renaissance on 9th St so it was central and easy. Last year we were in Crystal City and it was a drag, like staying in a mall or business park.
The 3 day advocacy training was interesting and I paced myself so I didn't hit burnout level and if I got overwhelmed, I went swimming in the pool. I only went once as it was pretty murky and that can't mean anything good. We had one plenary that had a representative from Clinton, Obama, and McCain each to discuss their plans for health care. The woman from the Obama camp was incredible-she is a Dr. and works for Ted Kennedy. She raised the bar and realized that she was speaking to 725 women and men who KNOW breast cancer and the science involved. I wish she was running for office. She got a standing ovation for her presentation. She gets the big picture view. Clinton's rep was her domestic policy advisor, shich doesn't bode well for the charisma factor alone. She was clearly smart but I have some reservations. McCain's rep would really not talk in realistic terms because she said that McCain was revealing his Health Care plan the next Day on National TV. BFD, I say. As if we are going to leak it to someone. She said he would be giving rebates in the form of $2500 a year for each person to spend on their choice of healthcare. WOW, a whopping 2500. That would almost cover the gas and parking for one year of a person living with Cancer's appointments. She kept saying it would put the control back in the hands of the people. I don't get it and she looked like Linda Tripp. The main gist was that no matter who wins the election, it is going to be a long slow process. I will write about the Lobby Day later......it is too nice outside.

Here I go again.....

I was very much on the fence about going to DC this year to lobby with the NBCC and was heavily towards not going. I just want to BE, not be sad about the women who have died this year because of the disease, I am sick of being sad about it. And I have pretty much let it all go BUT.......I have been given so much information about breast cancer and the legislation that will help make a difference and it has come from SUCH passionate people that I just don't want to let anyone down. So, I head there in Wed. for a short visit with my London roomie in Arlington, and then 5 solid days of brain cramming info and getting fired up to go to the Hill and let my state Representatives exactly what I expect from them, being that they do work for us. But I am also reserving the right to leave a plenary session if I start getting overwhelmed, and go swimming in the hotel pool.
Last year, my roommate, a fellow young Survivor from Colorado, and I were given the task of being Team leaders. Sounds nebulous, unless you don't want to appear an idiot. A team leader takes about 4 others with her to the given appointments with the State Senator or Congressman and leads the discussion. You must know all about the piece of legislation for which you are asking support, and be able to answer questions. This year we are pushing for a new framework for Healthcare for All. I stayed up until 2:00 am last year trying to get all the Bills down, and how we managed to get 220 million out of the DOD, etc...I wanted to be confident when I went in that I wasn't talking out of my ass. It was great, and I washappy about how well it went but I was EXHAUSTED afterwards. And this year will be no different.

We do not wear pink ribbons, we do not want pity, we want action in the form of legislation to further better and more effective research. We want equal access to quality healthcare for all. We want politicians who want the same things.

I can't tell you how many offices I have been in where the Politician will say "But I did the Race For the Cure." Bully for you, do you know where their money goes?

See? I'm getting fired up already. Pink sucks, as does cancer.

I will absolutely go to the Hirschhorn Museum, a personal fave, and do my annual bike ride around the memorials. And check out the Dogwood blossoms-so beautiful.

Wish me luck and a few Zen moments.

Lately.....

I have been trying to restructure things in my life. I am making exercise a larger priority and backing off of things I do out of guilt.
The MINUTE I think or write something along these lines......the Gods conspire to let me now I am not in control. I want to know who I am without the cancer label. It is largely self-imposed and difficult to explain.

So, I am making the effort to just be me, not me that had cancer. I want to continue doing my advocacy work but I am going to get involved only to the extent that I don't get burned out, as I am now. I don't have the energy to fundraise for our lobbying trip, I don't want to sit and talk about health care disparities for 3 days, I am not excited about it as I have always been in the past.

A week ago, I was ready to walk away completely......no more cancer, nothing. And then, BOOM! Two young women who were in my young survivor group passed away. They were both around 37, both had 3 kids, awful awful awful. This only reinforced my decision to get away from it. Three days later, TWO friends of mine were diagnosed with breast cancer. I wish I were unaware of this disease.

I swim. I am in training for a triathlon, not sure which one, but it all starts with swimming. It is the BEST! Anything that is weighing on me, after a couple laps.....it fades. I honestly can't picture me actually DOING the triathlon, but I am continuing to train in hopes that it may seem like a possibility soon. The thought of open water swims in May makes me laugh out loud...no effin WAY. But come May, I will probably be out there, swim cap and goggles on, squished into a wetsuit hopefully, and diving on in to the skanky lake. Baby steps.

Treat Exercise Like A Term Paper....Guilt and Cram

My New Year's challenge to myself was to sign up for a group called CWW or Colorado Wild Women. I am not a joiner, especially of an all women group, (In college, my friends and I saw frats and sororities as something for the deeply uncool and insecure ,well.....that and I couldn't exactly smoke bong hits all day in one of those places now could I) but guilt is a big motivator and if I have to answer to someone for my exercise habits, I am more likely to do the actual exercise.
I have a strange but not uncommon, lingering result of my cancer and that is lymphedema in my arm. Primarily my hand. I had all my lymph nodes removed in my right arm which means that if I get an infection, bug bit, scratch, burn, carry grocery bags, etc, I am apt to have a reaction. The lymph system is not there to drain anything. I am trying to nip it in the bud before I become the person I freaked out on in the medical journals,,,,hellooooo elephantitus? I went to the hospital for my lymphatic massage which is MUCH more pleasant than it sounds. The PT wrapped my arm and I go back twice a week for 3 weeks to see how it works. I am currently attempting to type using my left thumb for the space bar instead of the right one. Doctor's orders.
I am terrified that I am going to go to the first day of training and realize that I am completely out of shape and I am going to get my ass kicked.
So I went to the park, cranked up The Clash on my Ipod and hoofed it for an hour hard in the balmy 7 degrees. Listening to "London's Burning" makes me realize that my youth was most certainly not misspent, but it was completely fantastic and I wouldn't change a thing. I then signed up at the gym and start panic swimming tomorrow.

I have square eyes....

I have become completely obsessed with watching movies online for free. This is my pattern often. I find something and go nuts over it until I burn out and Voila----no mo. When I learned to play Solitaire in 6th grade, I kind of went crazy and played NON-STOP. Before school, after school until soccer, rush home and play until dinner, then play until bed. After 6 days, one of my sisters said she was going to kill me if I shuffled one more time. I was using the felt back of a wooden chess board as my surface and it was really loud but I like the loud drumming sound. Under pain of death from my sisters and brother, and them telling my Mom that I needed to go to the Doctor because clearly something was wrong with me, and parental threats....I just stopped. But I have done the same thing with the NY Times crossword puzzle in high school. And then for Xmas one year, my brother, as sort of a joke, gave me a battery operated little Yatzee with a card saying "Hour and hours of comariffic fun". Yes, I had been through a Yatzee phase at some point but this was just me and the machine, baby.
That thing was my pain and my pleasure. I would dream of dice combos. It was so stupid but I could NOT stop. Well, that thing got me through an 18 hour train ride in Peru, a 22 hour bus/ferry/train combo in Java, and a bone crushing 9 hour car ride on a single track road on the Pakistan/India border. It is like meditation for idiots.

This online movie thing has got me semi-hooked. I can't get that hooked because I do actually have a life AND I would go blind watching the small screen. I watched "Before The Devil Knows You're Dead"...anything with Philip Seymour Hoffman is good with me. I started watching "No Country For Old Men" but Javier in the Dutch Boy hair cut really deserves the big screen. So I have watched a lot of movies and will be back when I refocus.

I have signed up with a group that trains you to do a mini-triathlon in 5 months anad it starts in a week so I that should nip it in the bud. Except that I found a site that has all the West Wing Episodes and I LOVE that show.

I am totally boring but I sort of don't care.

Here are the movie sites:

http://www.66stage.com/
http://ebookwarehouseonline.com/video/movies/
http://www.free-tv-video-online.info/